I was thinking last week about things I am thankful for-and with a new baby girl this year, I am thankful for quite a lot-and one of things that I am very thankful for is the grades 4-8 music teacher at the school. She and I have worked together for years and she is an amazing teacher. The students respect and adore her, they appreciate music, and they are devoted to creating and performing music because of her. She is easy to work with and makes the working environment a great pleasure.
However, at one time or another, we have worked with colleagues that we would describe in the opposite way. And when that occurs, it makes our daily lives very difficult. How do we handle a colleague that is difficult? Difficult, meaning the colleague is not very supportive of you; or is very critical of you; or does not welcome your ideas and you must conform to the colleague’s ideas and suggestions. This can be a very tough situation. I have had this situation and it lasted for a few years. It was difficult and I am glad that I had friends and a boyfriend (who is now my husband) to vent to at the time. Here are some ways that assisted me to get through that time and I hope that you will find them helpful if you are going through this too:
- Focus on the Students. Remember why you teach. You want to give students the gift of music.
- Vent. Vent to a family member or a friend who does not work in your school or district. Stay away from venting with another colleague or another teacher in the district. That could come back to hurt you in the long run.
- Extracurricular Activities. Find some activities outside of teaching that will give you the calm and peace that your day might not achieve because of this difficult colleague.
- Practice Empathy (if possible). You never know what type of life this difficult colleague could be living. He/she could have a very rough personal life and that could be the reason he/she has problems working with other people.
- Stay Professional: Some difficult colleagues will eventually dig themselves into a hole that they will not get out of. If you stay professional and focus on teaching your students, you will be better off.
- Right Fit: If your difficult colleague has been at the school for a long time and is respected by many and you can no longer work with this colleague, then this school might not be the right fit for you. Work until the end of the school year so that you leave with a good recommendation from an administrator.
- Learning Experience. When all else fails, look at the experience as a learning experience. It will remind you that you will never want to treat a colleague the way you were treated by the difficult colleague.
I hope that this post helps if you are finding yourself in this situation.
Have you ever had to work for a good length of time with a difficult colleague? What advice would you give?
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December 18th, 2009 at 12:58 am
Amy, I think your points here are wonderful. It can be very difficult to work with some people some of the time. I often have to remind myself that everyone brings something to the table, no matter how it is presented. Everything is a learning experience. Take it in and even though it may be a battle wound later, it makes you stronger and a better person for learning to work with and through these situations.